Tag Archives: life

Igniting identity | circumstance and happenstance

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Our self-identity forms over time, shaped by our experiences and interactions, particularly in our formative years. It is not a uniform development of self, but rather one that is punctuated disproportionately by high impact moments. These sit in our backstories, having ignited our identity and shaped who we have become.

These moments are often subtle, quiet experiences of awe and wonder: a sudden realisation, both unsettling and exciting, that the world and our role in it is not what we thought. In these moments of alchemy, brief serendipitous collisions create a hiatus between our old and new self-image.

“…in moments of alchemy, brief and serendipitous collisions, the beautiful texture of interwoven lives. There are many seeds of genius in the world, we must nurture as many as we can.” Helen Lewis

Circumstance and happenstance

The development of self is determined by our context, upbringing and by the influential adults and peers that we look to through childhood: an on-going influence of circumstance through our formative years.

But much, arguably, is happenstance, serendipitous moments that build our self-image. Brief events, often remarkably small, that disproportionately shape our lives. Rather awkwardly, they are often surprisingly quiet, private moments of self-realisation that are invisible to the provider.

“The smallest act in the most limited circumstances bears the seed of boundlessness, because one deed, and sometimes one word, suffices to change every constellation.” Hannah Arendt

Yet for some children the vagaries of life’s happenstances are less frequent, less influential or much less accessible. It also depends on a child’s circumstance and their pre-disposition to act on these moments. Whilst our childhood sets the conditions and the circumstances that influence our predispositions, the brief moments, the happenstances, disproportionately explain who we become.

Predispositions

Will, Should, Might, Could, Won’t, Can’t

Our context and circumstance, whether consciously or unconsciously, determine our predispositions and the strength of our self-agency. For any given aspect of life we align to one of the following dispositions:

•I Will  …. I fully expect to do this, unswerving, predestined, locked in, self-fulfilling.

•I Should … Highly likely, people like me do things like this (reinforced by peer status).

•I Might … Entirely possible and within my gift, requires a step forward, focus and resourced adults.

•I Could … It is possible, but could be difficult to achieve – requires ignition, support and must be followed by resource.

•I Won’t … People like me don’t do this, locked out, keys hard to find, and not sought, no capacity or resource, unable to see the future or be part in it.

•I Can’t … Not possible, nobody like me does things like this, psychologically and materially forbidden.

If you are under-resourced and have experienced much less privilege, then too often your agency is limited to the bottom few dispositions. This offers a form of immunity to moments of ignition and even if ignited a lack of resource to follow your triggered passion. In a world of privilege, however, you occupy the top few dispositions: emboldened to accessible experiences and open to life-changing moments. And yet, ‘ambition’ is equally distributed, but enhanced or stifled from birth and perhaps before birth.

“If you are lucky enough to be born in a world made in your image, you probably think of a failure as an obstacle on the path to eventual success. If you are a marginalised person in any way you internalise that failure more closely.” Elizabeth Day

Moments of wow… igniting identity

Regardless of who we are there are moments we witness that change our passions, our identity and motivation for what we wish to become…

“But the moment that changed everything came on 29 July 1992 … the Barcelona Olympics. Chris Boardman was about to go in the final of the men’s individual pursuit. I sat in front of the TV and watched him … Four and a bit minutes later, Chris had overtaken his German counterpart and become Britain’s first Olympic cycling gold medallist in 72 years. I was 12 and knew straightaway I wanted to emulate his feat. Another 12 years later I did just that.” Bradley Wiggins

…or influential adults who we are desperate to emulate…

“When I’m 13, my mum gives me a load of photos that she’s found. There he is, in his cycling kit, racing. It’s a definite “Wow!” moment, like he’s been brought to life in my hands. Those photos become my greatest treasure. The closest connection I could have with my father was by following in his footsteps” Bradley Wiggins

…or experiences that ignite our identity…

“My love for cinema began at a very early age, as early as I can remember… I was just a little kid in a darkened theatre, and I remember that beam of light just cut across the room and I remember looking up, and it seemed to just explode on the screen. … and suddenly, the world was so much larger than the one that I knew … it opened my eyes. It opened my imagination to the possibility that life could expand far beyond the boundaries that I then perceived in my own life.” Tom Cruise

“Making films is not what I do, it is who I am.” Tom Cruise

Owning the future

How far are children able to focus on the future? If you exist in an under-resourced world where you seek to survive the day, the week, your effective horizon is limited, perhaps irrelevant to you: there is no bandwidth to contemplate your future. This fundamentally forces you toward the weaker predispositions, I Won’t and Can’t, and breaks the connection between recognising that the efforts of now are an investment in next. The future will act on me.

Resourced children are able to make the investments now, fill their lockers and are typically compelled to do so, supported to strong dispositions, I Will and Should. I create my future.

To be or not to be

To be or not to be, that is the question that children wrestle with as they navigate the world. We know, though, that some children have much less capacity to be, forced into a not to be mindset. Growing in a world that tips the odds against you, denies a starting disposition, or ladder to, ‘Will, Should, Could’ and restricts the under-resourced to ‘Can’t and Won’t’. Only the application of equity can offer a ladder and break the cycle.

Lockers filled with belief

In every aspect of a child’s life, a child holds a locker of self-belief. Advantaged children have bursting lockers, filled by circumstance and opportunity, narrated by resourced adults, affirmed through experience. The lockers of under resourced children are sparse, short on belief, encouragement or affirming experiences. When they look to their lockers for self-confidence and self-belief they are encouraged, perhaps compelled, to step back, to not take risks and internalise the failure. We must be better at filling the lockers of under-resourced children.

“When you are born into wealth and privilege, you inherit a plan that outlines the paths ahead, indicating the shortcuts and byways available to reach your destination … If you enter the world without such a map, you are bereft of proper guidance. You lose your way more easily.” Elif Shafak

Chasing status

What you become depends largely on who you find yourself with. We measure status on those around us, typically the 5 peers that we spend time with that we look to and derive our own sense of status. Our belief in what is possible is shaped by our peers, and our schools are the crucible for these interactions.

Our verbal quota

“…we speak about 16,000 words a day, that is a lot of chances to tease, complain and criticise, but also to encourage, inspire and comfort. I know I can do a lot more good with my verbal quota.” Matt Woodcock

In every interaction, exchange and conversation our words are a powerful force for good (or ill). We never know for certain the weight of our words on a child, but we do know that children are adult-watchers, seeking to decode the world around them. Awkwardly or helpfully, in every interaction our words always carry weight and have influence, intended or otherwise. Often just 13 words deliver a self-belief that becomes unshakable and propels a dopamine-soaked desire to follow a passion:

“…I was introduced to a club coach, Stan Knight. Immediately he took hold of my wrist. “I’ve never felt a pulse like it,” he said. He looked me in the eye – “You’re going to be the best cyclist this country has ever produced.” … I liked the fact he had belief in me… Stan didn’t tell me I was special because of who my dad was. He told me I was special. Me.” Bradley Wiggins

Inspiring lives

“I began to realise how important it was to be an enthusiast in life. If you are interested in something, no matter what it is, go at it full speed, Embrace it with both arms, hug it, love it and above all else become passionate about it. Lukewarm is no good.” Roald Dahl

As educators we chose to inspire lives – and yet we spend little time understanding how children exist in the world or how their lives unfold through their circumstance and happenstance. How do we ensure that curiosity, hope and ambition is a feature of all childhoods not just those that are privileged?

Perhaps we should maintain a greater sense of awe and wonder, of possibility and back it with the application of equity and protect the flickering flames of hope, so that more children can embrace an interest with both arms. If we are to ignite a child’s self-identity, so that they have agency into their adulthood, we must create greater opportunity and apply the equity that will give all children the choice to follow their dreams.

...inspire lives with greater opportunity and choice.

Dan Nicholls | December 2025

Growing Human Beans

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We are in the business of growing human beans, and beans have dreams.

Some have dreams that are delicate, wispy-misty bubbles, but, more frightsome, some beans believe dreams are for others and not for them. So, whilst all kiddle beans have dreams, some are lost before they grow to be whunking. For the world has a habit of bursting the bubbles of beans.

“Dreams,” he said, “is very mysterious things. They is floating around in the air like little wispy-misty bubbles. And all the time they is searching for sleeping people.”  Roald Dahl

Tread softly | zozimus is fragile 

We grow beans and all beans spread their dreams under our feet.

But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams W.B. Yeats

So, tread softly, but do deliberately step and set the stage for dreams to appear, exist and grow. Dreams require our guardianship, for the moment a child ceases to believe, they step back and separate themselves from those whose dreams are well preserved and soundly protected. For the dreamless beans we are their only second chance: exunckly why we choose to be here, doing what we do.

“The moment you doubt whether you can fly, you cease for ever to be able to do it.”  Peter Pan

Leaders of Dreams | dealers in dreams

“Leadership is communicating to (human beans) their worth and potential so clearly that they are inspired to see it in themselves.” Stephen Covey

We must curate the conditions that convince beans of their worth and potential so clearly that they are inspired to see it in themselves. Leadership that deals in dreams and has the courage to apply equity, might just create the opportunities that change lives of human beans, because childhoods last a lifetime.

“Dreams is full of mystery and magic… Do not try to understand them.”  Roald Dahl

The land of less | surviving childhood

All human beans depend on supported opportunity to thrive. Opportunity, however, is largely a feature in the land of advantage. A place where beans go on quests, fueled by belief and held to high expectations. In their land, they stride sure-footedly, supported, resource laden, time enabled, in the direction of their dreams, with eyes affixed on the horizon.

Contrariwise, the land of disadvantage has less. Whilst, all beans are seeking to survive childhood, beans and often their grown-ups, in this land have less time, fewer resources and fleeting opportunity. Whilst ability and ambition are distributed equally in beans, dreams evaporate quicker in this land, quests revert to quiescence as under-resourced beans seek to survive, focused on the foreground, suspichy of their future.

Of course, the odd thing about the land of the less is that it is expensive to exist, to get by; there is a scarcity of money, and of resource and of time. But, we know this, and as educators we do have the resource and the expertise to offer the specific, targeted support that can lift horizons, to short cut and create cheat codes that close gaps and grow opportunity in the land of less. We are not yet brave or courageous enough to hack the system, one diddly and different bean at a time.

“Every human bean is diddly and different.” Roald Dahl

Igniting dreams | shifting self-image

Human beans are the sum of their experiences. Some of which are potent enough to ignite something deep inside making beans fall helplessly in love with their future passion. We are not yet experts in ignition; we pay too little attention to these life-changing moments and yet we are all shaped by them.

“Beneath every big talent lies an ignition story – the famously potent moment when a young person falls helplessly in love with their future passion.” Dan Coyle

All children are social beans, deeply sensitive to the words and actions of all adults. In every action, interaction and intonation we choose to construct or de-construct, to convey status, or not. Our role is to ignite and guard dreams, secure excellent provision and apply equity to gift beans a new notion of what is possible, daring them to dream, guiding them to look up and beyond.

“Once a student sees that he or she is capable of excellence, that student is never quite the same. There is a new self-image, a new notion of possibility.” Ron Berger

Fields of dreams | seeding serendipity

Only the application of equity in the right conditions can overcome the insidious influence and impact of having less. We must seed greater opportunity, deliberately to both specifically target and to increase the probability that unmoored beans will grow, flourish and accumulate advantage over time. For success is not a random act, it arises out of a predictable set of circumstances, more readily and typically evident in the advantaged realm.

“…success is not a random act. It arises out of a predictable and powerful set of circumstances and opportunities …replace the patchwork of lucky breaks, context and arbitrary advantages that determine success…with a system that provides opportunities and the conditions for all to feel success.” Malcolm Gladwell

To accumulate advantage for those with less, we should recreate the conditions of the land of more, being braver to give what is specifically needed so that beans do not feel unremarkable and separated from their world.

Full of Beans | inspiring lives with opportunity and choice

“Somewhere inside all of us is the power to change the world.” Matilda

We are full of beans, they are everywhere, and so are their dreams. Together, we have a responsibility, to grow both beans and dreams. To find that little bit of magic asleep inside each and everyone. In doing so we might just influence the lives of those who exist in the land of less, who carry more, who need, indeed rely upon, our expertise and our belief in them. As enthusiasts in life we can inspire the lives of those with less with greater opportunity and choice. But we should choose to close gaps at full speed, to embrace it with both arms, to become passionate about it, because lukewarm is no good.

“I began to realise how important it was to be an enthusiast in life. If you are interested in something, no matter what it is, go at it full speed, Embrace it with both arms, hug it, love it and above all else become passionate about it. Lukewarm is no good.” Roald Dahl

Dan Nicholls | January 2025